Lisa Overman, A Healed Heart

We all make mistakes and make choices or decisions that take us away from our center occasionally. We ruminate over our mistakes and we beat ourselves up for them much too much, when we are far better served to use our energy toward creating healing in our life  and improved choices in our future. At times we do the very best we can and we still make mistakes, that’s natural, we are human. We sometimes make mistakes out of fear, out of impulsiveness and sometimes just an error in judgement when we couldn’t read a situation clearly.

Mistakes are moments, we can’t always change the direct impact of our mistake but we can certainly take another positive route from that place. We can create good from mistakes, what we learn from we use in future situations and at times our own mistakes allow us to understand another better. There are moments of forgiveness of self and of others for each of us. When we hurt another or another hurts us it isn’t always easy to reach a place of forgiveness, though it’s best for our own healing when we reach out for that place of peace and release ourselves from that pain. Forgiveness allows us to move forward with an open and healed heart.

On most occasions people hurt us without really realizing how deeply their behavior or their actions impact us. They are seeing situations through their own eyes, not ours. Many times it’s in hind sight that they begin to realize the real impact their actions had on us. I work hard to forgive the actions of others, that have impacted and damaged my spirit and heart. At times it’s not easy, at times I”ve wanted to lash out like anyone in my moments of deepest pain and grief. At times I have been physically sick from the pain of loss and the hurt caused by another. There is a time of healing, of mending of the spirit, a time when only the love of God can work within us to help us to move through the pain and reach the other side to understand the fear or the pain or the frustration or inconsideration that drove their actions in the first place.

It doesn’t make their action right. Healing simply brings is a sense of understanding that they were  in pain or uncertainty and their choices were self defeating and that we must simply step back and allow them to live through their choices and find their own way. We can request God watch over them, we can ask that they be surrounded and supported in their lives. From there we step away and release them, forgiving them and beginning  to find our own sense of calm, knowing we did all we could do within the situation.

I find many times that things come full circle. We are given opportunities and moments to bring peace to relationships, families, and friendships when we keep our hearts open and we allow the space for others to step forward in their own way and make peace. Forgiving and making peace, doesn’t mean forgetting or allowing ourselves to be stepped on again. It means allowing the love of God to work through us, in it’s own way and beginning anew, remembering what we experienced, learning from it, and creating a new bond one day at a time, one word at a time, one message at a time. It’s allowing God to heal us, to heal a situation, to heal a heart. It’s remaining open even when we don’t understand fully what God’s plan is. It’s trusting God to lead us, to guide our life and to guide our heart peacefully so that something broken can be rebuilt.

Photo Credit: Lisa Overman

We all have moments, weeks and years in our lives when pain, grief and loss overcome us. We move through our losses at the pace our hearts allow. For some healing comes more quickly than for others, there is no right or wrong when a heart is healing. The statement “Time Heals” was on my mom’s nurse tee shirt and I have found that to be true in my own life, with my own losses.

At times there is nothing we can to do help another heal besides offer our love and support. At times our love and support will be turned away, as our friends or loved ones grapple with their pain, loss and scars in their own way. I can attest that it is frustrating beyond belief to watch someone you love turn away from your love and your support because they are in pain and can’t open their hearts fully. 

In those times there is nothing more to do than step back and allow God to touch their life and help them to heal. There is only so much any of us can offer and if we are turned away then we release them, knowing we did everything we could. We gave our support and our love freely and there is nothing more to be done. In their deepest pain only God can guide our friends and loved ones who need to heal.

Healing takes place as each person is ready for it. For some it’s a dark, scary, painful, path. I know, I’ve walked that path several times over in losing my parents, my daughter and so many friends and relatives to death. I walked it as my marriage ended. There is no easy way down that path, it is a path that we walk with God, without even knowing it. We are supported and loved even in our darkest pain and deepest grief, even when we don’t feel it, and long for support. The hardest part of having walked that path is knowing I can’t take away another’s pain or fear. Those are things that have to happen within each of us, we have to willingly open our heart again and take a chance to love, even when we feel our lives have been destroyed by the pain love caused.

There is no easy path through the pain of watching your marriage end, watching the one you love walk away and go to another. I know, I watched it happen in my own life. I watched my husband walk away six months after our daughter died, moving in with another woman. In that same time period my grandfather whom I adored died and just months later my aunt was killed by a drunk driver.
It was truly the year from hell. I don’t know how my family and I made it through that darkness; but we did.

I went on to love again, to love more deeply and to love more passionately because then I understood how quickly loss can come and how precious each day with those we love is. Life can end in a instant and goodbyes don’t always come. I know that first hand. So now I live generously, with passion and with a grateful heart for everyone in my life. It isn’t always easy and sometimes I get slapped with pain and loss again, but I know God is always there and I will always be supported and guided.

There is nothing we can do but share our hearts with love, with those we treasure. When those we love walk away, as they sometimes do we can only pray that if they are meant to be a part of our lives that God will heal their hearts and heal ours too. Healing comes as we are ready to accept it. Sometimes we fight it, we struggle in every way to go against it because we are so deeply in pain and fear. In those darkest times, I pray that God’s support will be felt by those I love, and by those you love too. All we can do is pray that healing comes on angels wings and those we love find joy, peace and love again. There is nothing more we can ask. Love heals

Security is a perception. We are never completely safe, our situations just seem safe. We bask in the contentment of seeming safety. It’s only when disaster strikes, jobs are lost, finances are compromised or our health is jeapordized that we realize what felt safe was simply a perception. Our real security comes from within, in feeling and trusting the spirit of God in our life. It’s God’s prescence in our life that brings a true sense of feeling secure.

It doesn’t mean we wont lose our job or suffer loss, we very well may, just as I did. My belief and trust in God didn’t keep my parents from dying of cancer. What it did do is give me the strength to survive, to move through the worst pain I’d ever experienced in my life. There were hours and days when my life seemed too painful to go on. The pain of my mother’s loss was debilitating, devestating and I couldn’t even pick up the pieces. Death felt in those moments preferable to the intense pain of grief and loss I was feeling.

Losing our sense of security in the world, a job for many, my mother for me, often feels like the end of the world; and it is the end of the world we’ve been living. Our sense of protection and security is stripped away. We are left vulnerable, exposed and wondering how we can possibly go on, how we will support ourselves. Who will be there for us in our darkest hours?

At first it seems as if no one is there. It feels as if we’ve been abandoned, at least it did for me. The spirit of God is always with us, sometimes our pain is simply so deep we can’t even comprehend that we have support. I certainly couldn’t. My perception has deepened and today I realize in my darkest pain I was supported and you will be too. It may not be evident at all times but in small moments, in calm silence it will show its self and I pray you will realize you are supported.

The last weeks I’ve felt drawn to write about gratitude and how gratitude impacts our life and our experiences. Gratitude has shifted the flow of abundance in my life. Two days ago as I was impacted by a wonderful flow of abundance into my life I had an Ah Ha moment. It’s been through my own struggle with paying for two houses and all the accompanying bills, that allows me the insight to share with others in similar situations, allowing them to see that they too can make a positive shift in their life by focusing in gratitude.

It would just be words that are meaningless if people thought I had no similar experiences in my own life of this struggle in our trying financial times. I have been juggling the bills of these two houses for two years, alone. The moments of fear, anxiety and stress have been great. But my determination to find a way through the dark moments brought me to a place of grace and gratitude, where I realized my focus on gratitude was making a shift in my life. It can certainly make a difference in the lives of others in similar situations. No, it doesn’t happen over night. It is not a magic bullet to make all our problems go away. What it is, is a gentle shift in our thinking, our experiences, when we realize even in the struggles that we have things to be grateful for.

Okay, I admit there are moments when I’m not in gratitude, when I’m in fear. There are moments when the anxiety overcomes me and I feel like I can’t breathe from the stress. What gratitude has shown me is that I can shift my life with a grateful attitude. It has brought a gentle flow of abundance to my life. Several times now money has flowed to me that I needed greatly at that time. It doesn’t happen every time, and no matter how great or how small the abundance that comes, I focus my energy and my prayers saying thank you to spirit for providing each gift of abundance. I repeat my thanks and I find it shifts both my mood and my experience. I feel more uplifted living like this. I also find more blessed moments coming my way and find myself focused much more in an attitude of gratitude.

I recently learned of an organization here in the Tampa Bay area whose goal it is to offer free medically assisted air transport for needy families. According to the information I read, Faith Charity Flights will serve children, adults, the elderly, accident victims, transplant patients and those needing distance medical treatments such as cancer treatments or treatments for rare diseases, who can’t afford commercial air ambulance service to reach their destination for treatment.

Faith Charity Flights is currently working to raise money for their air ambulance and to become certified with the state of Florida. They are seeking volunteers for their air ambulance flights. On their website you’ll find a page for potential volunteers to leave their name and personal information so that Faith Charity Flights can reach those interested in this voluteer opportunity.

If you would like to donate to Faith Charity Flights USA click on this link to find their donation page.
Having seen first hand a family member face cancer treatment and seeing another dying before treatment could begin I understand deeply the importance of what this organization is trying to do. They are working to create a means for those without the means to receive necessary medically assisted flights for care and treatment. Who among us wouldn’t wish for the opportunity to make a member of our own family more comfortable by having the support of a charity organization to ease the financial burden that long term illness often brings. Consider making a donation to this worthy cause and share their website with others who might also consider donating. Every drop makes a ripple and every ripple produces a change.

An attitude of daily gratitude shifts the energy of your spirit and your body. It opens a place within you that allows opportunity and abundance to flow through you. Recognizing your joy and gratitude helps to shift your life. Morning prayers upon awakening of thanks and appreciation for your life are a beautiful way to transform your day.

Refocusing through the day in gratitude is an essential part of the plan. This helps shift your mind away from scattered thoughts to thinking beautiful thoughts for each situation and thing you give thanks for and allows you to hold gratitude in your mind. This is clarifying. Gratitude is an attitude, it shifts your energy, it opens you to new things.

When we know that we are on our spiritual path there comes a time when we must surrender completely to spirit. When no matter what the appearance of our life, we know that spirit is guiding our direction. This is one of those times in my life. Fighting the tide does not work, it’s like trying to swim out of a riptide, it can’t be done, I must float, release and know that I am safe and provided for.

Right now the challenges of my life are great, but I know spirit is greater and I know that the work that I have done, the open channel I have provided and the efforts of my writing and following spiritual guidance are being acknowledged and will be rewarded. I know spirit put me on this path of writer and healer for a reason. God knew that I would follow my heart, share my story and in the process inspire others to begin looking at their own pain and grief. This is not an easy path, it isn’t easy to pour out your heart for all to see. To write and detail the mistakes you make, the misteps you take. I had to move past all that and realize the greater good in my honesty, in my compassion and know that it would be through both that I could begin to inspire healing in others.

There are moments still when I am touched with fear, with indecision, with pain. I have learned to move through those moments, to accept the feelings and allow them to disappate naturally. I do not allow them to take over, I cry, I pray, I meditate and I write. I allow my spirit to take control and those moments become less and the pain begins to disappear. This week in the midst of my personal challenges I have been reminded twice through a quote that this is my time to surrender. I have done the work, I have expended the effort, now it is time to allow spirit to unfold the blessings and release my concerns and my doubt.

I am a writer, I touch people through my experiences, my truth and the words that spirit guides my fingers to put on this page. The words only come through me, spirit guides my message. This is not the writing I wanted to do long ago, it is the writing that spirit determined I would do. It pleases me today, but there have been many days it did not. I wanted to write romance novels or travelogues. I wanted the exotic and romantic. Instead I got heartwrenching, emotionally draining pieces to write on my grief, on the depths of my pain. I understand now that my peace and inner strength come from what I have faced, what I have healed and I am happy today. I am grateful for this gift, the words spirit provides me to share with others. I’m my happiest self writing and touching lives with this gift. I am grateful every day for my life, for my writing and for the gift of those I treasure in my life. It is a matter of surrendering and allowing spirit to drive your life. You can fight it, you can struggle against it. But eventually surrender is the only answer that makes sense. Your life becomes joyful and your work becomes nourishing to your soul. It isn’t easy, but it’s worth the discomfort. Surrender and discover what spirit has in store.

This morning at my church, Harmony Metaphysical in Tampa; my minister did something wonderful for our congregation as we prepare to go into 2009. We were handed paper when we entered the sanctuary and told to write down the things we would like to manifest in 2009 and the things we want to release as 2008 ends. We have done this in previous years and each time I love it! It gives me a peaceful, focused time in the loving environment of my church to review the things I want to release and the things I’m creating as the new year begins.

Reverend Dee Jay recommended starting our 2009 affirmations with I am. For example, I am healed, and I have good health. I am abundant and I am creating greater abundance with my writing. I am creating a workshop to help others in grief begin to work through the healing process.

Writing my affirmations and listing the things I want to release gives me clarity and reminds me how far I have come from the moment I found Harmony back in the spring of 2006. Harmony is my spiritual home, it’s the place that reminds me I’m responsible to create the life I want and to be grateful every day for the gifts spirit provides. Thank you Reverend Dee Jay and Harmony for creating a healing, loving spiritual home for all of us. I love being a part of Harmony.

Life shifts sometimes inperceptibly and at other times the shift is so dramatic that we feel it, see it and everyone around us notices it. So what causes our lives to shift? In my opinion shifts occur when we have either a spiritual change in our life, or a healing of emotional or physical pain. A shift can also occur when we have an “Ah Ha” moment; when suddenly we “get it” and we can stop repeating old patterns and move into a new way of living and being.

Shifts happen whether we’re aware of them or not. Shifts can happen when we feel loved, when we feel supported and when we understand that we have no need for our old habits or insecurities. Shifts can change our lives; they open our minds to new ways of living and new ways of doing things. Some shifts happen gradually because spirit knows that’s all we can handle, that too much transition is difficult for many people.

In my own life I have had dramatic shifts and gradual shifts. Sometimes the shift was self inspired, ie a move to a completely different culture and country. Nothing shifts your life than faster than getting on a plane and living full throttle in a culture you don’t understand, where they speak a language you can barely comprehend. Moves like that shift your perceptions and life dramatically in both good and bad ways. Through years of living overseas, in situations where I had to adapt I now feel comfortable traveling most places and am willing to embrace cultures and overseas experiences with ease.

Every shift is different and they are not all warm and fuzzy or comfortable. Sometimes a shift takes us far out of our comfort zone and we have to learn to adapt to a new way of thinking. That process of learning to think differently is the shift taking place. When we become at ease and we see our life expanded we realize the shift has occured and it’s usually an exciting time with opportunities and new experiences.

Spirit is always guiding our life, whether we are willing to realize it or not. Some days we fight it, and other days we flow with it. The shifts are a natural progression of our life and knowledge expanding. As we follow spirit and listen to our internal voice of inspiration and love we can make some dramatic shifts and find our life going in some amazing and exciting directions. The secret is letting go and releasing the need to have all the answers. The shift will happen, spirit will guide it, answers will come just as we least expect it.

My friend Reba Jean, Ying Yang Spirit has an autistic grandson and they are embarking on a healing experiment with Quinn where they are asking for healing prayers and Reiki for Quinn. For more information and to participate in the Help Quinn Talk, check out their website. Reba is a wonderful Reiki healer and I am so touched by this healing endeavor.

If you have been following my posts the last week or so then you already know I’ve been clearing boxes of stuff from my office and guest room closets. It’s an assortment of stuff that got dumped there nearly a year ago when I officially moved. Like anyone, sorting through the things I don’t necessarily need seems like a hassle. The reality is that I spend a lot of time working at home as a writer and I enjoy my space (even closets) so much more when they are organized. I tend to be a very organized writer, I like my space to be upbeat and comfortable.  I hate having piles of papers everywhere; so the idea of closets filled with excess is not attractive to me either. Yet It seemed so overwhelming and time consuming to deal with.

Finally at the encourgement of my friend Myscha I began to seriously think about organizing the closets and giving another few jeep loads to charity. I thought about the job for a day or so, not really overly enthused to begin. Just looking at it all felt overwhelming. After talking to another friend, Doreen and hearing her excitement over her own home’s Feng Shui changes I went home encouraged and set to work. I began as Doreen had with Feng Shui tips and then as I felt my energy and the energy of the rooms I was working on shift I began to feel excited about clearing my space.

Okay, every moment wasn’t exciting or even interesting. Some of it was down right booooriiiing. But, the finished result, a closet which looks neatly organized and guest room walls brimming with some art and color that brings energy and life to the room made a vast difference in my mental attitude and my pleasure at looking around my guest room.

 My guest room was of particular importance for two reasons. For one it’s the second floor area of my career and helpful people in the Feng Shui bagua. This same area on the first floor is my front door area, which is welcoming and uplifting with chimes, a wooden Buddha carving, oriental rug, a deep warm clay pot and a framed photo of soft, white magnolia flowers. The second reason it was key is because I will soon have my grandma visiting for two weeks and I want her to find the room welcoming and restful.

For me making any room peaceful starts with something spiritual. In pretty much every room of my house you find spiritual items, a religious statue, a buddha, angels, a fairy, an evil eye, all things that bring me a sense of calm and serenity. For the guest room I found the perfect picture to hang; a calendar picture of The Place of Refuge on the Big Island of Hawaii. The place of Refuge is one of the most sacred spiritual spots in the islands. It is known as Pu’uhonua o Honaunau to the Hawaiians and was a place of refuge for anyone who had done wrong. It was where the ancient Hawaiians fled to when they had done wrong. If they could reach this spiritual spot before they were caught then the priests gave them forgiveness for their transgressions and sins.

It felt appropriate to hang it in my career and helpful people area as a spiritual reminder that I too am forgiven for my mistakes and am protected and guided. Just walking past the door and seeing that special picture brings me a moment of calm. Pu’uhonua o Honaunau is one of my favorite places in the islands. Each time I visit the Big Island I return to this sacred and treasured spot and now the beautiful reminder of this sacred place resides in my guest room above the bed. A newly clear space, a clear mind and the gift of knowing I have been blessed with much in my life.

It is truly amazing how life can shift in ten months. If someone had told me I would be living the life I’m living today a year ago I wouldn’t have believed them. A loving, caring deeply committed relationship has always been a priority to me, yet a year ago I wasn’t even focused on “relationship” I was focused on moving into my new townhouse, downsizing, selling my house, finishing my book and getting my website online.

Yes, I had a list of qualities I’d written down in a journal of what was important in a man and in a relationship. I had long past released my need for a relationship and I was happy doing my own thing. I was living a pretty toned down life in comparison to the complete chaos I’d been living in after my father died. After several years of dealing with an estate, a business and a house along with my grief I was happy to be living what felt like a more normal life. I was writing nearly every day, I was downsizing and I was focused on finding a publisher for my book.

Enter my friends with well meaning intentions about the fact that I should look at dating. I had been alone for over two years with the exception of a man from my past who visited a couple times for a week long vacation. Dating? I understood the concept but couldn’t fathon creating the right situation. I knew few enough people in Tampa/ St Petersburg and the thought of trying to find a date was not all that appealing to me. Yes a relationship was appealing. I loved the thought of sharing my life with a treasured man and of course I missed sex and intimacy. But I wasn’t willing to dive into sex and intimacy just to have a man in my life. Things had to be in the right order.

After a couple months of listening to my friends ideas about dating  I actually met someone incredible in a very unusual circumstance; which I shall keep private at this time. It was a meeting/introduction that I consider to be spirit driven. Those close to me who know the details are amazed and thrilled that spirit led Rob and I to meet as we did. He has basically all the wonderful traits that I had prayed for in a man. it was as if God and my loved ones who had passed into spirit heard my every wish and desire and whisked this man into my life.  Okay I will say I might have been wise to ask for a patient man when I was forming my list of desired traits,  but after ten month he has become a much more patient man with me…lol

It’s amazing what happens when we just allow spirit to unfold events and experiences that will bring joy and gratitude into our lives. I couldn’t have dreamed up a more amazing man than Rob for my life. He’s everything I could have asked for and more. Spirit was guiding our meeting and my life, that’s clear. I feel so very blessed to share my life with Rob and his children and family. They have brought an entirely new dimension to my life.  

I realize now in retrospect that it was key for us to meet when we did, when my life was pretty low key and I had a lot of energy and time for a new relationship. It has been beneficial to both of us to have the amount of quality time together that we have. With both of us having flexible careers, his as a firefighter/paramedic and mine as a writer we’re fortunate to get unexpected treasured time together. I realize as I work with a web designer on my site and look to the future to a moment when I will have a publisher I understand the timing of meeting Rob. We needed this time to bond and to realize how much we treasure the other. I know with working at getting my book published that my time will be divided and that expectations upon me will be greater. It will be joyful work and spiritually satisfying but none the less a demand on my time that takes time from Rob and his children. Spirit knew what it was doing when it gave us this treasured time to create a loving, warm, caring relationship. It is a gift in my life…….in most moments…lol and I believe in Rob’s as well. I live in gratitude for the gifts of my life and the gift of Rob and his caring warmth and sense of humor in my life. Spirit is guiding my life and I feel a deep sense of gratitude for the gift of Rob and his children Taylor and Montana in my life.